We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The adults are the big ones right?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
