I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
organizing the empties. That sober.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
