As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
