I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
