Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
