I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
How's work?
Spinning.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Randomize
