guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
