Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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