White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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