We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
