Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
