I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
