so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
