I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
