ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
