i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
