I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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