never play flip cup with pint glasses
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
