Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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