Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize