I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
