I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
