did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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