singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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