we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
This can only be settled by a dance off.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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