What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
