we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
