I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
