Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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