I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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