if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
