There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
