There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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