i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
