Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I will be naked everywhere
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
