Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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