How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
