told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
