just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
