Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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