We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
