In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You can't just leave with hair like that
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
