Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
