Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
