I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
