walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
