I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
someone owes me an orgasm
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Randomize
