Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
