she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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