We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
